The negative effects of a manipulator
No one, who has not tried it, can realize what kind of hell is living with a manipulator. He /she devours your energy, like a vampire: the most devastating effects concern your self-esteem (which is likely to sink, even with a solid base) and depression; furthermore, next to a manipulator one is no longer free: one is caught in a subtle mental network. But listing the consequences of the proximity with a manipulator could really be too long. Manipulators, in short, are creators of stress, heavy stress, which affects the mental and physical resources of an individual: they are particularly at risk those with a depressive personality, who blame themselves more easily and have less protection against false accusations by M.
Now we'll see a list of possible effects, all related to the stress caused by M.:
• Consequences related to work and intelligence; lacks of attention, concentration, memory, productivity, effectiveness. In short: performances go down.
• Consequences related to mood: the most common effect of the proximity with a manipulator is depression, with declining energy, a feeling of immense fatigue, inability to get up in the morning; it is associated with anxiety, but also irritability. Hence the tendency to aggressiveness or, conversely, to inhibition: I've seen guys literally reduced to amoebae by manipulative parents...
• Consequences about self-esteem: it is literally eroded, with a crash of self - appreciation, security and self-awareness; motivation, interest in life collapse too, pessimism prevails, usually unrealistically, accompanied by feelings of guilt (caused on purpose by M.), as if the charges of M .... were true.
• Psychosomatic consequences: migraines and headaches, muscle tension (especially in organs such as the shoulders and the back, but even forms of arthritis can be linked to stress), skin problems (acne, irritation, psoriasis, hair loss), appetite disorders (absence of appetite, or tendency to overeat, anorexia, bulimia), problems of the stomach and intestines (nausea, abdominal pain, knotted stomach, acidity, gastritis, ulcers, diarrhea etc.), sleep disorders (insomnia, restless sleep, or, conversely, overwhelming fatigue, narcolepsy), cardio-vascular disorders (respiratory ones, hypertension, arrhythmias, intercostal pain) sexual problems (decrease or disappearance of sexual desire and related: even impotence, decreased fertility, arrest of the cycle etc.). Personally, I have observed that a victim of manipulators can multiply even sprains and fractures.
Note that every organ has a symbolic meaning, so the symptoms "cry" the malaise of the victim and what is most affected: in fact, according to Jackson (Jackson laws) if an internal conflict can not be expressed on a conscious level (by the brain), it will go to the lower, to a more primitive one(subconscious or somatic level).
No one, who has not tried it, can realize what kind of hell is living with a manipulator. He /she devours your energy, like a vampire: the most devastating effects concern your self-esteem (which is likely to sink, even with a solid base) and depression; furthermore, next to a manipulator one is no longer free: one is caught in a subtle mental network. But listing the consequences of the proximity with a manipulator could really be too long. Manipulators, in short, are creators of stress, heavy stress, which affects the mental and physical resources of an individual: they are particularly at risk those with a depressive personality, who blame themselves more easily and have less protection against false accusations by M.
Now we'll see a list of possible effects, all related to the stress caused by M.:
• Consequences related to work and intelligence; lacks of attention, concentration, memory, productivity, effectiveness. In short: performances go down.
• Consequences related to mood: the most common effect of the proximity with a manipulator is depression, with declining energy, a feeling of immense fatigue, inability to get up in the morning; it is associated with anxiety, but also irritability. Hence the tendency to aggressiveness or, conversely, to inhibition: I've seen guys literally reduced to amoebae by manipulative parents...
• Consequences about self-esteem: it is literally eroded, with a crash of self - appreciation, security and self-awareness; motivation, interest in life collapse too, pessimism prevails, usually unrealistically, accompanied by feelings of guilt (caused on purpose by M.), as if the charges of M .... were true.
• Psychosomatic consequences: migraines and headaches, muscle tension (especially in organs such as the shoulders and the back, but even forms of arthritis can be linked to stress), skin problems (acne, irritation, psoriasis, hair loss), appetite disorders (absence of appetite, or tendency to overeat, anorexia, bulimia), problems of the stomach and intestines (nausea, abdominal pain, knotted stomach, acidity, gastritis, ulcers, diarrhea etc.), sleep disorders (insomnia, restless sleep, or, conversely, overwhelming fatigue, narcolepsy), cardio-vascular disorders (respiratory ones, hypertension, arrhythmias, intercostal pain) sexual problems (decrease or disappearance of sexual desire and related: even impotence, decreased fertility, arrest of the cycle etc.). Personally, I have observed that a victim of manipulators can multiply even sprains and fractures.
Note that every organ has a symbolic meaning, so the symptoms "cry" the malaise of the victim and what is most affected: in fact, according to Jackson (Jackson laws) if an internal conflict can not be expressed on a conscious level (by the brain), it will go to the lower, to a more primitive one(subconscious or somatic level).
• Obviously, all these symptoms can, in the long run, become chronical, serious diseases.
• Problems of self-control: for compensation, the victim may develop addictions (alcohol, tobacco, food, with effects such as bulimia etc.).
• I do not hesitate to attribute to M. also some effects comparable to those of complex PTSD (Complex Post - Traumatic - Stress - Disorder), which began to be spotted recently in individuals subjected to prolonged stress (hostages of war etc.): beliefs and values are eroded, the person is no longer able to objectively evaluate the situation as he / she is confused; the victim does not understand what is happening, the perpetrator can be perceived as omnipotent or even idealized (so that the victim accepts uncritically M.'s assumptions); it seems that everything must always go bad, the victim feels a tremendous sense of helplessness and hopelessness, even despair; the victim feels different from others, guilty, ashamed; he / she tends to isolation, distrust or to frantically search assistance; all this undermines the person and makes very difficult for him / her even accepting the solutions that are proposed. Above all, the victim lacks the strength and the will to live.
• In severe cases, a manipulator can push his / her victim to suicide, even indirectly (in her first book Dr. Nazare-Aga relates about a family where the mother was manipulative: three of five children committed suicide and the last one was about to do so when she came into psychotherapy). However, even homicidal temptations can be frequent and, in crime-stories sometimes I stumbled in cases where the motive of the murder was the mistreatment by a manipulator.
• Problems of self-control: for compensation, the victim may develop addictions (alcohol, tobacco, food, with effects such as bulimia etc.).
• I do not hesitate to attribute to M. also some effects comparable to those of complex PTSD (Complex Post - Traumatic - Stress - Disorder), which began to be spotted recently in individuals subjected to prolonged stress (hostages of war etc.): beliefs and values are eroded, the person is no longer able to objectively evaluate the situation as he / she is confused; the victim does not understand what is happening, the perpetrator can be perceived as omnipotent or even idealized (so that the victim accepts uncritically M.'s assumptions); it seems that everything must always go bad, the victim feels a tremendous sense of helplessness and hopelessness, even despair; the victim feels different from others, guilty, ashamed; he / she tends to isolation, distrust or to frantically search assistance; all this undermines the person and makes very difficult for him / her even accepting the solutions that are proposed. Above all, the victim lacks the strength and the will to live.
• In severe cases, a manipulator can push his / her victim to suicide, even indirectly (in her first book Dr. Nazare-Aga relates about a family where the mother was manipulative: three of five children committed suicide and the last one was about to do so when she came into psychotherapy). However, even homicidal temptations can be frequent and, in crime-stories sometimes I stumbled in cases where the motive of the murder was the mistreatment by a manipulator.
In these situations, it may happen even something absurd: the manipulator accuses the victim "to be crazy" and sends him / her to a psychiatrist, so that he /she can receive medical treatment. Given that the evil is something else, unknown to the psychiatrist, the inevitable effect may be a very inappropriate treatment. Similarly, the victim may be sent to the doctor, a psychologist, a specialist ... For years, a person close to me and manipulative, called me '"stupid", because I had a depressive attitude, when the cause of my depression was just this person ...Unfortunately, very few are able to recognize the effect of a manipulator and run for rescue if victims, or give help if bystanders: it happens that even psychiatrists or psychologists are not aware of it (!). Hence my posts. I will explain again the reasons of this general blindness (often lamented by specialists such as those I have consulted), but the first act to get rid of this is to read the situation correctly; then we SHOULD RUN FOR RESCUE (I'll go on in another post).
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